I’m not quite sure what to make of this song or the video that goes with it. I got into Blackpink after DDU-DU DDU-DU, and I’ve loved Gaga ever since the chorus of Poker Face took up permanent residence in my auditory cortex so this should be an easy home run, but it isn’t. It feels thrown together and spends its entire 2:37 in search of a hook.
It starts out well with those ghost bongos from Truffle Butter, and then goes into what I guess is the Blackpink chorus? It doesn’t seem like at the time, but it gets repeated later. The you have a Blackpink verse, then Lady Gaga’s chorus, which is the closest we get to catchy, but it really seems more like a pre-chorus especially when the electric snare does that little skip beat at the end. It feels like it’s about to go off, but instead we sink limply back into a lady Gaga verse, then her chorus again, followed by the Blackpink chorus again. By then the song is over and I’m left with a sour taste in my mouth. It never really gets to anything I want to sing along or dance to. We go out with Gaga saying, “Take a bite. Take a bite.” Which is not an activity I readily associate with candy. You don’t bite sour candy. You eat it. Or suck on it, in the case of Warheads, Lemonheads, etc. I guess she could be talking about sour straws or belts, or airhead extremes but these are candy outliers. I get that you already burned a lot of the candy double entendres earlier in the song – unwrap me, hard on the outside – but this one makes my eyes water.
The video is even less remarkable. My favorite part is the beginning where Lady Gaga is lying on a large gothic turn-table, the Blackpink girls are racing somewhere in a KIA SUV, and then some swords fall near Lady Gaga. For a brief moment, I’m intrigued. Sadly, the remainder is just slow shots of the ladies in various genre environments which include, but are not limited to: lasers, boat, business trip at hotel bar, so bored at the cafe I had to go home and wash my face, checking out open-houses, backstage at the fashion show, and the Lady Gaga house of mirrors experience. Throw in a double portion of eye closeups and you’ve got yourself a video! Where no one is singing. It’s a bold choice, but it separates the visuals from the music somewhat. It feels like watching a futuristic mystery on mute with club music playing in the background. And that’s probably where this song is best left. In the background. I still love all of you, but I’m holding out for a sequel to Poker Face. Poker Face: The Other Way, or maybe even a DDU-DU DDU-DU 2.
UPDATE 6:37 PM: I’ve had this song stuck in my head for the last 4 hours.
criticalmush.com 