Dominic Thiem “Wins” U.S. Open

Of the two men entering Sunday’s U.S. Open championship, only Dominic Thiem had ever been to a major final, losing twice to Nadal in the French Open and once to Djokovic in the Australian earlier in the year. You would think someone with that kind of track record would know approximately where to hit the tennis ball, but you would be wrong. Thiem couldn’t find it and would lose the first set 6-1. He would have lost the 2nd set 6-1, but Zverev sent an easy volley sailing out of bounds. Zverev would go on to win the set 6-4 but the winds were shifting.

Between the 2nd and 3rd set, Thiem’s witch (physio) brought him a small bottle of potion which Thiem consumed. Pat McEnroe, himself a practitioner of the dark arts, spoke openly about it being a magic elixer. It did the trick. Thiem found his mojo, sort of, and Zverev lost the ability to rely on his booming 1st serve. What remained was a battle for survival. The ultimate set featured a few good rallies, and at times during the match, one could marvel at Zverev’s serve and occasionally brilliant net play, but that was about it for highlights. Both men had exactly as many double faults as aces and more unforced errors than winners. Each had a chance to serve for the match, but neither could manage it so we ended up in a tiebreak. Still, no one seemed to want to win. Zverev went up 2-0 in the breaker before double faulting Thiem back into it and finally missing a return to give Thiem the match.

I think I speak for all of us, players included, when I say thank god it’s over. Congrats to Thiem on winning his first major and being the first man to come back from a 2 set deficit in a U.S. Open final. I’m sure he would agree there’s still some work to be done. There’s certainly no heir-apparent to the current roster of immortal tennis death robots. The French Open starts on September 21 and I think my friend Jennifer put it best when she said, “Nadal is going to blow these bitches off the court in under an hour.” I saw nothing on Sunday to make me believe she’s wrong.

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