It’s a story as old as fatherhood itself. One day your dad puts on his coat, says he’s going out to discover extraterrestrial life and never comes back.
Category Archives: Reviews
Recently Deleted
As the owner of a grievously inadequate 861GB Playstation 4, I’m regularly forced to delete old games to make room for new ones. These are their stories. Someday I may go back to them, but, probably not.
The Last of Us 2: A Great Game About Terrible People
The end of the world isn’t going to improve anyone’s personality, but what are you going to do? Leave? Risk the wastes, hordes of zombies, and almost certain death on the off chance you run into someone who makes you laugh? Face it, for better or worse, you’re stuck with these d-bags.
Doom: Eternal Part II – The Game Itself
Every time the marauder appears he ruins the perfect demonic ballet that is modern Doom combat. Oh and he has a dog made out of fire. The dog is also an asshole.
Doom: Eternal Part I – The Bonkers Lore of Doom: Eternal
Almost all of them are killed, but not the Doom Guy. You kind of lose him at this point. My guess is he got fed up with the Argent D’Nur, grabbed one of their mobile fortresses and hightailed it back to Earth. How he got out of hell is anyone’s guess, but he’s been there a few times, he probably knows his way around. The Argent D’Nur, now without the Night Sentinels to defend them, are quickly overrun by the forces of hell. The Maykrs are fine with it, more grapes for their immortality wine.
Is “The Darkness” the Worst Kevin Bacon Movie?
These ghosts – and writers – try a bit of everything: turning on faucets, inducing children to burn things, irritating neighborhood pets, cave painting the bathroom – which given certain circumstances and design schemes could actually be helpful – appearing as animals, appearing as shadowy humanoids, but what they excel at is leaving sooty handprints all over the place. They love doing this, and hey, I’m sure it’s fun, but it’s not at all scary.
Tom Selleck Knows What’s What
The most common type of reverse mortgage is a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage. Just call it that! That’s the kind of impenetrable jargon we’ve come to expect from the industry with whom we entrust all of our worldly assets.
Betaal
They clear the villagers, open the tunnel, and unleash 90 minutes of generic zombie show upon the world.
Bomber Crew
Bit repetitive, but excellent stressful fun for a low price!
Our House
It’s like being told you’re going to Disneyland and winding up at Chuck E. Cheese.
criticalmush.com 